Kiss, Kissing, Kissed

Sometimes I’m so easily amused I sit here laughing until I cry.

A few months ago, a group of us were sniffing candle scents at a Scentsy Candle party – which is always a blast. There was a new scent that I can only describe as Sexy. We passed it around and the consensus was, I must write a book with the scent title and offer the candle with the book. Well, the title has been used in romance, so I decided, instead of Holiday Kisses, I’d do Kisses on Holiday. Which, as it turns out, sent my mind into a dizzy spin of joyous ideas. Holiday Kisses hadn’t yet spun a storyline, but Kisses on Holiday - wow! So, as the storyline began to form I searched out kissing facts, fallacies and what people have to say about kisses.

Romance is so predictable that often it lacks a real reason to read it, if you allow yourself to think about the how the story is going to do this, then that all the way to a happy ending. So, as a writer, I like to put the unexpected and abnormal in my stories and weave them around to the required end. It’s possible some of it might be missed by the reader, but I like the thought that one might go ‘oh, that’s different’. Maybe it humors me and no one else. I don’t know. I started writing because I wanted to change the path of romance.

Anyway -

I’ve never really given kissing on screen or in books much real thought. I either think it works, or I don’t. Sometimes it’s the way they’re kissing, the way they touch, the whole scene before and after. It’s a quick judgment based on what it does for me, I suppose.

Now, I realize back when they were limited in camera mobility and close-ups, and morality standards determined how deep kissing and the length of could be. Though there were some liberties allowed in some – which worked so well they became memorable, criticized as inappropriate and often cut out of television airings. Some things don’t change.

Still, kissing in movies and on television has evolved over the years.

It’s much the same in writing. The progression of the intensity, the style and the lead into which we call sexual tension. If the writer is attentive to not only what she’s writing and the characters emotions, the reader is breathlessly waiting and rooting for that first kiss and later a more intense kiss that might lead into something more if they’d not been interrupted.

This is a normal expectancy of romance in all forms. Our need and our love of it will never be satisfied with less.

But…

What about the kiss itself? Why does it always have to be so perfect right off the bat? What if the heroine doesn’t like the way the hero kissed her? What if the hero didn’t care for the kiss she gave him?

I know, it’s the norm.

Well, I did a little search and found some interesting sites and comments.

How do you tell a man he sucks at kissing? This brought up a comment from one person to indicate it’s not only a male issue, but a female as well. Believe it or not, not everyone is on the same level of kissing, nor like the same type.

There are so many types of kisses it seems the odds of kiss incompatibility would be more common than not.

Kisses – Your kisses and what they reveal about your personality – This website amused me, because I think most people can be a combination. So many factors are involved in the way we kiss a person. Our moods – are we angry, interested, not interested, scared, attracted, etc.

As women romance writers, we’re often biased as to what we want from a scene in a book. We gear everything toward the woman. What about the man? Do we stop and think maybe kissing is every bit as important to him, that it’s not simply some stepping stone to con a woman into complying with whatever it is he wants from her whether it be to add a notch to his bedpost or a more permanent relationship?

It will be interesting to see how Kisses on Holiday comes out.

Here a few other sites I found:

How to Kiss a Man is from a male perspective. Enlightening and I will certainly be checking out more links from this site.

Kissing on a First Date – Good Kissing Techniques and Etiquette

20 Kissing Techniques For Any Occasion – well, I’ll let you read these, enjoy some giggles and fantasies.

Hey - it’s Valentine’s Day – go enjoy a kiss with your SO.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

Bekki
http://bekkilynn.net/